Whether you are Catholic or not, you may find yourself touched by Pope Francis’s death. The impact of his service as Pope was far reaching – touching the lives of people all over the world. Not just Catholics – but those he championed across significant social issues.
Do you remember the first funeral you ever attended? Pause for a moment and think about that experience. Take into consideration your age at the time as well as the person being remembered by this ceremony. What was memorable about it?
I have a long relationship with public speaking. I’ve spoken as a historical interpreter in a living history museum, zoo educator in two different zoos, and in all kinds of educational settings. I’ve been the primary speaker at funeral services where I’ve had the privilege of telling a life story. Most recently, I’ve spoken in churches and organizations about bereavement, grief, and loss.
I was recently praying about a difficult decision someone I love is facing. There are two obvious choices at hand. Both choices are beautiful, rich, and exciting. In this moment, even such rich choices feel difficult because they involve change, risk, something new, possible loss, and challenges. As a result, it is hard to know which direction to go. In fact, it is agonizing, uncertain, and uncomfortable being in this position.
It turns out, aging comes with all kinds of change. From sagging skin to wrinkles, to eyesight, and mobility changes, to health diagnosis large and small – all happening and needing attention. Many of the changes carry loss within them.
Grief brings us into new encounters with ourselves and others. My own losses taught me that I wasn’t very good at asking for or accepting help. In fact, I rarely asked for help at all – instead trying to muscle through my loss experiences with willpower alone. Slowly, I learned that it didn’t have to be that way. In fact, there were people around me who wanted to help.
I’ve watched in horror as so many people have lost their federal jobs. Then in a true ripple effect, more people have lost their jobs to funding that has been eliminated. The next layer beyond that are people who no longer have business they counted for the upcoming year’s income.
How are you doing? I don’t mean in the superficial, “I’m fine” sort of way. I mean in the deep-down nitty-gritty sorts of ways. For many, things have changed. Wildfires, flooding, job loss, diagnoses and health issues, and significant life changes that have brought grief to new levels.
Collectively, we are experiencing so much change. The world around us, the environment, our communities, inside our own families – all of these places are spaces for change.
While we often think grief is about the death of a loved one, there are other difficult life circumstances that create a deep sense of loss. Divorce is top among those experiences.