How are you doing? 

I don’t mean superficial, in the “I’m fine” sort of way. I mean in the deep-down nitty-gritty sorts of ways. For many, things have changed. Wildfires, flooding, job loss, diagnoses and health issues, and significant life changes that have brought grief to new levels. 

I don’t know about you, but on a day-to-day basis things feel a bit off balance. 

The trauma of it all is real.  Mostly, I think this is because there is so much uncertainty– and a growing sense of powerlessness. For nearly all of us, grief is a constant theme. 

Maybe it is because I work in the grief industry, but everywhere I go, people are more openly speaking about their sense of loss. Many people are facing big, small, hard, and disturbing losses. Grief is more prevalent than ever, it seems to me. 

It feels like a call to action. To become better at grief. But if we haven’t learned about grief or experienced loss until now, how do we go about getting better at it? Especially when we’ve lived our whole lives in a grief and vulnerability averse culture. 

First, our grief experiences are unique to each of us. 

What feels like a devastating loss to one person may not feel quite the same to someone else. Yet, we can step up and honor anyone’s loss experience, understanding that we can never know the full story of their loss. Or the losses that came before the current grief experience. We don’t even need to know the whole story. 

That’s where we can simply show up in whatever way we are able. I remember in the earliest days of my divorce experience, a friend stopped by. She brought me a beautifully wrapped package of homemade chocolates. She gave me a hug and a few words of encouragement. She didn’t linger – and yet, that gesture bolstered me for the rest of the day. 

Another friend shared that when her divorce process began, a neighbor called her every morning as she left for work. The call itself never lasted long it was just that someone was looking out for her during those dark days of change. 

When my younger sister died, a dear friend of hers began sending me a postcard each week. They were a lifeline. A note about the weather, skiing, gardening season, her work. Just a few words of encouragement that meant more than she could have imagined. 

We can make a difference by simply showing up in whatever way we are able. 

Being present, even from a distance, matters. If you are able, you can show up for someone else, too. You can reach out, make a call, share a note, speak to the person of their grief, or speak of everyday things. The content doesn’t even matter – it is the contact that can mean the most in the uncertainty of the loss. 

If you are feeling more than overwhelmed, you can also consider reaching out to your pastor, a therapist, or a grief coach. 

Perhaps you need grief support or are looking for ways to support someone you know. If you or they are coaching curious or simply needing a way to explore the questions of the moment, I invite you to sign up for the 45-minute Live the Questions offering. Let’s explore your questions and redefine what you would like to work on for your own “next.”