Collectively, we are experiencing so much change. The world around us, the environment, our communities, inside our own families – all of these places are spaces for change. 

We often perceive change as a negative when in fact, it might be the opposite. 

For instance, I thought my divorce was the worst thing to happen to me. It was many things – the loss of relationships, the loss of a sense of identity, and the loss of a future I had envisioned for myself. 

Over time, I understood my divorce to be something different. An opportunity. It gave me the chance to reflect on who I had been and how I wanted to be going forward. Big and small things helped me through this process. 

For instance, I chose to take back my maiden name. I wanted to reconnect and reclaim who I was in my life – to be “named” as myself. I did this in spite of the fact that others discouraged me from doing so. They said things like “it’s easier to keep the name you have.” But to me, it wasn’t so easy. I did it with intention as a way to mark my changed self, changed relationship. It was my desire to rename myself. 

It was also my desire to share my name once again with my sisters. 

While I couldn’t yet move out of the house we’d shared, I began to reclaim spaces in it as my own. I put up decorative wallpaper. I chose a new bedspread. I moved furniture around in the house and I gave things away that no longer felt like they reflected me. I intentionally sought to live differently in the house. 

I relished planning meals and cooking the way I wanted to. I had a deep desire to eat healthier, and so I slowly experimented with foods I wanted to try. I also enjoyed foods I had not prepared in a very long time because he didn’t like them. 

Slowly, I made other inroads for change too.

I began going to events offered by my church. I tried out invitations that were new to me – things I had not done before. Everything amounted to investing in myself to learn who I was in the new “now” of my post-divorce life. 

It wasn’t always easy. It was rewarding though. What I didn’t realize was that I was reinventing myself. By refocusing my energies, I learned new things about myself. I began to envision the life I wanted to have in the present and future. I dug deeper and worked to know myself even better. I spent time with myself in creative activities. I took my dog places I wanted to explore. I renewed my mind and spirit. The payoffs got bigger and bigger. 

Rather than living a diminished life, I found myself living in abundance and energy I had never imagined. 

Perhaps you are in this kind of life transition. If you are coaching curious or simply need a way to explore the questions of the moment, I invite you to sign up for the 45-minute Live the Questions offering. Let’s explore your questions and redefine what you would like to work on for your own “next.”