It turns out, aging comes with all kinds of change. From sagging skin to wrinkles, to eyesight, and mobility changes, to health diagnosis large and small – all happening and needing attention. 

Many changes carry loss within them.  

Then there are more brutal changes. The loss of cognitive ability with a diagnosis like dementia or Alzheimer’s. The slow changes of Parkinson’s Disease or stroke, or traumatic brain injury. These diagnoses change the course not only of the life of the one receiving the diagnosis, but they also impact the course of caregivers lives.  

So many people I know are struggling with these kinds of changes. 

Nearing or arriving at retirement, they thought it would be smooth sailing. They had plans and ideas about the future. Ideas about travel, spending time with grandchildren, relaxing, and living deeply in hobbies, activities, and social events. 

Instead, what they are discovering are difficult losses. The illness and unexpected deaths of spouses. Facing hard decisions alone because of the cognitive decline of a partner. Losing siblings, friends, and other relationships. Changes in relationships with adult children. Moving into care facilities and much more. 

While this aging story may not be yours now, it may be that of your parent, an aunt or uncle, or neighbor. 

There are many places right now where we can all become better at grief. This is one of them. We can choose to be aware first that grief is a normal part of life. It isn’t just limited to death losses. Aging is just one area where people experience loss. 

Whatever might be bringing you a deepening sense of grief and loss, know that neither you nor I are meant to travel it alone. 

I remember a diagnosis of someone I cared about. With it came a sudden awareness that I needed to deepen my own connections. I needed to actively find a community. At this time, I was far from family and a former sense of home. I was new to the area and far from hugging distance of people who loved and supported me. Yes, they were available by phone, but I realized I needed to cultivate both my inner and friend resources. 

We are all facing change – across the globe, our country and in our communities. 

It is a good time to assess who the people are in your inner circle. Do you have a middle-of-the-night friend you can call? Do you have a trusted friend or two? Do you have informal friends too – people to go shopping or to the movies with? Someone to walk with or work out with? Someone to meet for lunch? 

Think about your own innermost circle. Take time to reflect and consider where you are and what kind of support you might be longing for. Set out to find those one or two key people that you can also be such a friend to. 

A life transition coach is a great resource for brainstorming where you are in your journey of loss or change. I companion people navigating challenging losses and life circumstances. If you are coaching curious or simply needing a way to explore the questions of the moment, I invite you to sign up for the 45-minute Live the Questions offering. 

This is an effective way to learn about the co-collaborative process of coaching as well as gaining insight about your own needs and how coaching might support them.