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I’ve always thought outdoor spaces have something to teach us about vulnerability, loss, recovery, and renewal. It was in the barn, backyard, woods, and fields of my childhood where I learned these valuable life lessons. 

I grew up in central Indiana. After nearly 50 years there I feel I understand a bit about the climate and nature of the area. Even as that continues to shift and change, I know enough about the soil, weather, how things grow, what animals inhabit those spaces…to feel comfortable there. 

I’ve lived in hot dry places too. I spent more than 9 years in San Antonio, Texas. It is a plains biome with grasses, shrub lands and savannahs. Over the years I lived there I slowly got to know the soil makeup, what grew well and what didn’t. 

As often as I could I observed wildlife of the region and eventually other regions of Texas. 

Now I live in the Sonoran desert – of which greater Tucson, Arizona is a part. I’ve only been here for about 18 months, so I have a lot to learn. Plant and animal life are different because the region includes arid temperatures and soil. After living in the wooded wetlands of Indiana and the shrubby savannahs of Texas, I get to see mountains every day. 

What I’ve been discovering is that I have always had a relationship with places. 

It is as if a place is one more character in the narration of my life. I have felt deeply connected to places. I’ve planted vegetables, watched birds and other wildlife and relished seasonal changes. 

I’ve discovered that like living near a river, lake or ocean, the mountains change every day. Changes in appearance are related to the light of different seasons, cloud cover and to the time of day. Just like bodies of water, these and many other factors influence how the mountains look. I have been surprised by this fact – that the same mountain face looks starkly different every day. 

As we’ve all watched the destruction of fire rip across Los Angeles, I’ve thought about the sense of places I’ve held. I’ve thought about how very difficult, disorienting even, it is to see what has been left behind. The path of destruction is wide and hasn’t discriminated among the lives its touched. Everyone in the fire’s path has been touched in some way. Even if a home remains standing, the houses around it, the grocery store, coffee shop, barber shop, hardware store, dry cleaner are all gone. Homes and jobs have been lost. People are displaced in both home and work. What was an everyday familiarity has vanished. Nothing looks familiar. I can only imagine what a daily shock that is. 

Our own grief experiences can leave us feeling displaced too. 

It can feel as if everything has suddenly and irrevocably changed. The world around us may look different. We become unsettled and distracted, including in things like driving to the places of business we’ve used for a long time. It may all feel alien. While it may not be as drastic and harsh as those in LA – our own familiar can look entirely unfamiliar. 

I remember having a deep need to simply look out the big picture window in the house where I lived at the time of my mother’s death. It was as if the changing seasonal landscape matched my inner landscape. Some days, the snow-covered landscape felt as swept clean of features as my own life. Yet, the changing season of that front yard reminded me again and again that nothing stays the same. 

When you’ve mourned a significant loss, what strategies have you used to regain your bearings? If you are struggling to find your footing amid grief, it can be a good time to seek help. A therapist can help you unpack your personal history, traumas, mental health issues. 

As a life transition coach, I can offer grief education and information, forward looking tools to help you build momentum and regain your sense of direction and strategies for navigating loss. Book a free discovery session to learn more about grief, loss, and how a life transitions coach can support you. I look forward to collaborating with you.

A watershed moments coach can come alongside your experience of grief and loss providing support, encouragement, education about the nature of grief and insight that can assist you as you mourn. Collaborating with a coach is an investment in finding your way forward after a significant life change.  Connect with us for a brief introductory conversation where we will explore whether we are a fit for your current grief needs.  Click here to schedule a no-charge, 20-minute conversation where we will learn more about one another.