There are many qualities and characteristics in the journey of loss. Sadness, regret, confusion, anger, doubt and remorse among them. While experiencing these emotions or characteristics we may not even realize or connect them to our sense of grief.
Our culture is so grief averse that it can be hard to recognize or understand that we are having a grief experience.
I know for sure that I did not understand the nature of grief when I became a mourner after the unexpected death of my father. I didn’t know much about loss at all.
Sure, I had lost pets. I had also left home for college, joined someone in marriage and started to create my own sense of home. I left my “home” state of Indiana to live and work in San Antonio, Texas. In none of those changes did I consider myself to be mourning. I might have recognized sadness, confusion, or doubt, but I didn’t really understand that in each of these life changes were both joys and losses.
The death of my father began a tutorial in grief for me. His sudden death led to more layers of loss.
Some that didn’t arise in my consciousness until months or even years later. That is part of what I understand about grief now. That it has impacts we aren’t even aware of. So, for instance, I may have been aware of my anger, but I wouldn’t necessarily have thought it connected to my grief. I was aware of health issues (I developed pneumonia immediately following his death) but wasn’t aware that our immune systems take a hit when we are grieving.
Since that season of loss, I’ve learned a lot about grief. First, that grief impacts every area of our lives. It can feel for a time like a loss of identity. Major losses can lead to significant life changes. My losses inspired me to learn more about grief and mourning. My learning led me to obtaining certifications as a grief coach and funeral celebrant.
Grief has also taught me that there are many things that could be considered symptoms of our grief.
These range from physical symptoms (think pneumonia and a weakened immune system) to social behaviors, complex behaviors and emotions.
Here are just a few that reflect the natural grief experience:
Physical Symptoms
- Back pain
- Lack of energy
- Oversensitivity to sounds
- Nausea
- Heart palpitations
Social Behaviors
- Isolation
- Visiting or avoiding places connected to your loved one
- Nothing seems real
- Overly sensitive
- Relationship problems
Complex Behaviors
- Absent- mindedness
- Forgetfulness
- Easily distracted
- Difficulty concentrating
- Reliving painful times
- Questioning why
- Doubting oneself and one’s actions
Emotions
- Shock
- Relief
- Anxiety
- Fear
- Apathy
- Loneliness
- Longing
I wonder if you see any of these in yourself. The work of mourning our losses is not meant to be done alone. We need one another for encouragement, insight, and restoration.
If you saw yourself in the brief list above, or feel the need for support and encouragement, working with a coach is a great next step. Book a free discovery session to learn more about grief, loss, and how a life transitions coach can support you. I look forward to collaborating with you.

A watershed moments coach can come alongside your experience of grief and loss providing support, encouragement, education about the nature of grief and insight that can assist you as you mourn. Collaborating with a coach is an investment in finding your way forward after a significant life change. Connect with us for a brief introductory conversation where we will explore whether we are a fit for your current grief needs. Click here to schedule a no-charge, 20-minute conversation where we will learn more about one another.