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For weeks now, the holiday season has been getting attention. From extended “Black Friday,” sales to the opportunities to attend special musical events, it is all around us. 

Whether this is your first holiday season without someone you love, or your 21st, you may find that aspects of the season prove to be very comforting. 

Music, lighted candles, the glow of the Christmas tree, outdoor decorations or certain foods. There are many ways to pause and soak in the meaning of the season for your family and in your own life. 

In fact, for me, there are everyday activities in any season that feel more like ceremony when I acknowledge what they bring out in me. There is great comfort in putting my hands in warm soapy water to wash dishes. The simplicity of this task feels like a ceremony – a celebration, an appreciation. Afterall, the dirty dishes mean I had a meal today. I had the provisions I needed for preparing the meal along with the safety of a roof over my head. I live in a place with running water. 

In that warm soapy water, I get to pause and take stock of what the moment means. I get to feel the deep gratitude of it all. In my past few homes, there has been a sink under the kitchen window with a view of the backyard. I’ve been able to watch the turning of the seasons from those sinks. I can see blossoms, wild birds at a feeder, sometimes other wildlife. 

In Indiana I often saw birds of prey stalking my chickens or birds at the feeders. I once saw a lone Sand Crane walking around during spring migration. I guess she was just resting because she hung around all day. I’ve seen foxes, coyotes and more recently, javelina. Most of all I’ve had an opportunity to take in the turning of the seasons – another earthly ceremony that reminds me that I’m not God. 

The world and all that is in it is vaster than I notice until I consider it in the slow ceremony of washing dishes. 

From a post-meal ceremony to a prayer of gratitude, washing dishes is among my everyday activities. An activity, if I’m mindful that can become a bit of ceremony. 

Performing funerals has taught me that there are many small things that have meaning. Those things don’t have to be extravagant, grand gestures. While beautiful floral arrangements offer the warmth of fragrance and color to any memorial service, they aren’t the most memorable elements. In my role as celebrant, I’ve had a front row seat to small things making a ceremony richer. Most certainly that something more has not been my doing! 

Rather, there are opportunities to observe the tiniest things. To listen carefully to stories told by family members. To hear with new ears music chosen for its meaning to the deceased. To see the tender care of family and friends for one another. To recognize that grief itself is sacred and can be acknowledged in many ways. 

Maybe we can have a kitchen window view of our losses over time. 

What is in view now may change with our perspective, growth or experience. Time can give us new insights.  A gentle, curious, kitchen window view can soften us into new understandings and deeper appreciation of the little things. 

What little things are you noticing this holiday season? What gives you comfort? How can you invite others into your conversation of curiosity about the ceremonies all around us? Share your thoughts here – I look forward to reading your words! 

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