On the windswept prairies of the 1800’s white-out snowstorms could make life dangerous. Conditions could completely block the view from the back door to the barn door – leaving farmers in danger of losing their way in the white out and bitter cold. 

A creative solution was to tie a rope between the two doors to connect the house and barn and create a safe way to travel even in the worst conditions. Staying connected saved lives. 

A major life transition – a death loss, divorce, the loss of a job creates a sense of snow blindness in our lives. 

Things that seemed to be in view are suddenly no longer visible. In fact, this snow blindness can leave us reeling and wondering not just how to get home, but where home is now. 

My first holiday season after divorce was a very difficult one. Not only was I gob smacked over the end of my marriage, I was also bereft over the ripples of unraveling relationships. Suddenly what had been my family by marriage was gone. My own immediate family had already gotten quite small due to previous death losses. I felt lonely. 

At the same time, I was facing really difficult decisions. It was becoming clear that I needed to move out of the home I’d shared with my former husband. There were already relatively empty rooms because he had taken furnishings with him. What was left behind no longer “fit” in the ways it had as a married couple. 

Traditions that had been “ours” were also no longer fitting. 

I was also blinded by the level of grief I felt. I had been through so much leading up to the divorce being final. I was working furiously to keep my head above water – which meant performing four or more funerals a week. I was flooded by stepping into the losses of others. 

I was handling things alone that were hard too. For instance, an elderly, beloved pet was in failing health. Now I had to decide by myself when it was time to let him go. That was just one of so many decisions that were difficult. 

Scripture, music, poetry, The Big Bang Theory, all became strategies I could connect with even as I lived the loneliness of the new shape of my life. My sisters and best friend showed up. They proved to be the rope between the house and the barn. They traveled to see me. Offered support in the form of care packages. Stayed nearby. Reached out often. I was never utterly or completely lost in the cold. I moved from one day to the next with the care and support of others. 

The were the ropes helping me find my new sense of home in this massive life-quake of change. 

As you lean into the holiday season or your own personal season of change, where can you tie a rope that will help you stay connected? Who are your essential ropes of support? Who can you rely upon? How can you navigate this season as you wait out rough weather?

Finding a life transition coach is one way to build a connection between the before and after of your experience. A life coach is an excellent sounding board, a resource for strategies and an opportunity to realign your thinking within your situation. Let’s connect for a discovery session!