What do you do for fun? Fun can feel elusive. When we are going through hard things, it can be difficult to identify what fun is. We may have known fun activities before the big changes or transitions in our lives, but fun can also feel as if it disappears in the face of adversity. Life challenges can get in the way. Time, financial resources, the pressures of work or even those of our current world can all make it hard to feel like doing something fun.  

I would argue though, that when it feels like things are really hard, it’s the right time to plan more fun into one’s life. It is almost as if we must double down on having fun – to stay mentally healthy we need more of it than ever. 

Life circumstances left me with a sense of not knowing how to have fun anymore. 

I was overworking, overly responsible, a sole breadwinner at times, and facing uncertainties. None of those places felt like I needed or could even afford (financially or emotionally) fun. It turns out to be counterintuitive – the more fun one can give oneself, the easier it is to manage the hard things. All of my harder times could have been made better by me taking a break from the grinding to find something fun to do. 

Instead, it seemed that all the fun was stripped away. 

Things I’d previously enjoyed seemed to leave me wanting. Or they felt hard to access. I didn’t have the energy to do things that had once been fun. For a time, I simply didn’t know what was fun anymore. I had to get myself beyond trying to figure it out with my messy mind and instead, figure it out by trying new things. 

An acquaintance in yoga class invited me to try the water aerobics classes. It had already been a bit difficult to start attending a yoga class. I would sometimes feel like not going but every time I went, I left feeling grateful. Slowly it began to feel like fun and a good way to care for my body too. 

So, when my friend invited me to water aerobics, I reluctantly agreed. I showed up for water walking and then tried aerobics in the deep-water pool. Both proved to be fun. I met new people. Listened to the chatter among participants. Found that being in the water every morning was a playful pleasure that reminded me of my childhood seasons at a lake. There was music, laughter, and fitness happening all at once. From the quiet inner solitude of yoga, the outdoor water classes proved to be a big step towards more fun. 

I began to feel more encouraged that I could find ways to have more fun. 

I thought about things I wanted to try – and I tried them. I accepted other invitations. For instance, one of the women in water class was training to be a docent at the art museum. She needed to give a practice tour so I agreed to attend. 

I remembered that I liked going to live music performed in outdoor settings. Rather than going places that were “old haunts” representing previous relationships, I sought new opportunities. I sought out women who were also going through the transition of divorce. Or I accepted kind invitations from dear friends who knew of my situation. I accepted invitations with care – holding boundaries that enabled me to remain focused on what fun was or is in the aftermath of all the changes I went through. 

Eventually, I built enough confidence in having fun that I decided to seek more. In my youth, I’d played guitar and banjo. I thought playing the ukelele would get me back to the stringed instruments I’d enjoyed before. So I took group ukelele lessons. They were another opportunity to meet people and to learn something fun while I was at it. 

For me, one of the keys has been the curiosity of finding other people doing something I wanted to try. 

Although it was tempting to jump back in, I moved at a pace that felt like it worked for me. After all, I’d been through some big challenges. For the time being, my energy was low. I needed to honor that too. Even though I set an intention to discover fun things, I also continued to seek ways to support myself too. 

What about you? Have you lost your way in terms of fun? Are you just starting to reimagine fun in this season of your life? How will you take yourself out for fun in the days ahead? A life transition coach can be a great resource if you are seeking ideas, strategies, and inner resources for growing into the future. Schedule an exploratory conversation with me to learn more about how coaching might support your journey towards fun and wholehearted living.