The practice of inviting children into a space for a “time out” began about the time I was teaching preschool. Intended as a strategy to address a child’s behavior and feelings, it involved moving the child to a quiet place outside the mainstream activities in a classroom. Giving a child a time out, not necessarily as a form of punishment, could give them a few minutes to collect themselves before resuming whatever it was the class was doing.
As an adult, I know there have been and are moments when I too need a time out. When something has triggered thoughts or emotions that aren’t necessarily productive for the moment. If I’m not careful, some of these thoughts, feelings, and emotions can send me spinning. And not in the direction I wish to go. So a time-out is just the thing.
Rather than allowing thoughts, feelings, or emotions to get in the way, a time-out could make the space I need to pause and reflect on just what I’m feeling.
I can pause and consider what the emotions are. And what they are about. I can take the time to breathe and name them. To see that I’m upset, angry, triggered, or frustrated and frightened. I can choose to sit still for a few minutes before responding or taking action.
If I’m able, I can ask myself to identify the feelings and then consider where they came from.
Are they present-moment feelings brought on by a person, situation, or condition? Or are they feelings that have bubbled up from the past but triggered in this moment?
Thoughts, feelings, and emotions may indicate a need for rest, renewal, or fun. When I’ve been overworking, for instance, I don’t have the same bandwidth, and my feelings can become a runaway train if I’m not careful. Or feelings can become so clogged up that I make unhealthy choices such as overeating, shopping or spending time on social media. These forms of checking out don’t support the care I need when strong or difficult feelings arrive.
In many situations, being able to check in with our feelings and emotions allows us to access good information.
The process can enable us to take considered action rather than reacting. Strong thoughts, feelings, or emotions may also indicate to me that more time is needed for reflection, journaling, or even working with a coach or therapist.
I often think we would do well to give ourselves a regular time of inventory related to thoughts, feelings, emotions, or situations and conditions. Rather than riding along in life without reflection, we can create a more intentional life by caring for ourselves in the best ways possible. Sharing these thoughts, feelings, or emotions in healthy ways can open the door to deeper healing, self-care, and needed rest.
What strategies do you use for self-care related to thoughts, feelings, and emotions?
Do you make room for regularly scheduled time-out practices like journaling your emotions, practicing meditation, retreating for an hour or a day, resting more, or working with a coach or therapist?
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