Do you ever have one of those days? One where you feel unbalanced, distracted, discouraged, or even a tiny bit lost? You may find yourself so distracted that you move from one project to another without completing a thing and feel like you are wasting time. Aware that you aren’t getting anything done but uncertain how to help yourself get back on track. 

It’s funny how grief shows up in our lives. Well, maybe not so funny really. But this kind of distractedness can be a sign of grieving. It can also be a call to slow down, pay attention in the moment, rest. 

If you find yourself rumbling around the office or at home without a sense of direction, it can be a good time to check in with your feelings. 

Our lives are so very full. It can be difficult to pin feelings to a single awareness of loss. In fact, I would venture to say that grief is with us much of the time in ways we may be unaware of.

We recognize the grief of major rolling losses such as living with health challenges or those of a loved one. Dealing with the secondary losses that happen after an initial sea-change loss. Living in a season of “after” something monumental has happened. 

Yet, subtle losses can also have an astounding impact. These are the day-to-day losses – the thousand tiny cuts – that may go unnoticed. They can have a compounding effect, however. Like a highway pile-up in a cloud of dense fog it can be hard to determine what has caused the sense of being derailed. 

It’s time for a personal inventory. Perhaps the derailed feeling is instead an invitation. 

An opportunity to be still, sit quietly, journal, take a long walk,and  be steadfast with yourself. This time could even look like taking a mini-retreat, a few hours, or a full day away. Create for yourself a half or full day to peacefully be with yourself. Become aware. Check in. 

Taking this time isn’t about fixing or judging yourself as not doing something right. 

There’s nothing to fix, only an opportunity to kindly and gently ask yourself what it is you are feeling. If you journal, pour every detail onto the page. Describe what’s happening. Describe what’s happened recently. What are the feelings that come up as you begin to really dig in and think about these things? 

Remind yourself that your grief isn’t a problem to be solved. Sit with whatever comes up. Ask what it needs most in the present moment. Know that you are already giving it room by becoming aware. Because these feelings are not problems to be solved, recognize that honoring them is a kind of personal generosity. You are creating the possibility for healing, openness, and more listening. You are giving yourself an invitation to the spaciousness that can play a part in moving closer to wholehearted living. 

In what ways do you create space for self-care and reflection in your busy life? How do you think dedicating time for these practices could help you navigate through grief?