I’ve been thinking lately about the ways in which I’ve come to understand the necessity of holding grief lightly. The world and our daily lives are filled with losses. Losses that are personally profound, heartbreaking, wild, and unruly. Other losses are more subtle – tugging at the sleeves of our own awareness that we are even experiencing a loss. 

Still, other losses are those we see and hear every day on the news. 

We have access at any moment to life-shattering losses across the globe. It is easy to feel flooded by the simple facts of loss and destruction. 

As a life transition coach, I spend time in the wilderness of others’ losses. I am humbled to hear and hold their stories lightly. The story belongs to the teller, not to me. My task is gently holding a safe space for the story to be heard. My task is to create a brave space for the telling. To listen with curiosity and love and without judgment. 

Always, the story belongs to the person who told it to me. 

Over the last 10 years of working as a funeral celebrant, I have heard the stories of families as they begin the process of mourning the death of a loved one. Families have taught me about the life and death of their person. They’ve taught me that grief comes in many shapes and sizes. They’ve taught me that their own stories of loss need tending with care. They have reminded me to tend to my own losses with care too. 

So how do we go about tending our losses? 

Ram Dass said, “We are all just walking each other home.” 

Think about how you walk with a dear friend. When they are sharing their experience with you, how do you walk alongside them? Do you listen with greater care? Are you curious about the story and what comes next? Are you generous with your time – seeking to be present as long as it takes to tell the story? Are you mindfully present in the moment without judging your friend or their process? 

What if you turned these same questions on yourself as if YOU are the friend you need? Can you offer yourself the same gentle tending? Can you ease into your own story with the same compassion you practice with someone else? 

Can you sit with your losses with kind curiosity? 

Not everyone is able to be this kind of support for a friend or themselves. Outside help may be just the thing for navigating your season of loss and life change. It turns out that every loss leads to something we don’t expect – a new beginning or a beginning again. Sometimes the best thing we can do with these beginnings is work in the safe setting of coaching to explore the loss, be gently held in the search for its meaning, and find openness and curiosity in the discoveries at hand. Every loss we experience – whether a death loss or loss as the result of some other massive change – can benefit from the tending of a life transition coach. 

I’m curious if you’ve found ways to hold your grief lightly. Or if you find yourself grief and life transition coaching curious. If you are curious and want to know what coaching is like walking home with a friend, reach out and schedule a free exploratory visit.